Wiggly Confessionals.

[Kelly Wiglesworth]

Yay! Funtimes!

Okay, well, hrm. I should probably state right off the bat that I'm probably not going to be an awesome character, I don't think, since Kelly W was pretty boring on the show, and I don't really know how to give her good characterization unless I go hardcore rebel, and that would just piss people off.

That being said, I'm a pretty hardcore player, for the most part, so I'm gonna give this game my best shot. I just hope I don't get majorly screwed on this live challenge business. I'm going to be working until right around the time the challenge starts, so I hope that doesn't come back to smite me. I don't want to be an early boot!

Now, talkin' about my fellow castaways...

Most of them I haven't had a chance to talk to yet, hopefully that'll change. But, for now, here's who I know:

Aaron - He and I actually formed an alliance right from the get-go. As to whether he'll hold up his end of the deal, I honestly don't know. I'm not holding my breath for it, but I intend to at least keep him on the back-burner.

Erik - I know him from another game we're both in, and he seems like a trustworthy dude in both of 'em. Admittedly, he's threatening as hell, and my guess is that both of the GayPs will cluster like adoring cherubim around his feet.

Frank - I knew I'd like Frank from the get-go. I've been playing Survivor games for almost seven years, and in all that time I have never once had the opportunity to play as someone who repped Frank. So I knew he must be funtimes. And he is.

My fellow Kellys, whom I secretly suspect were all allianced from the pre-show, were all interesting, too.

Kelly C - Didn't respond to my IMs. What the hell? She was definitely online, so I don't know why she didn't feel the need to talk to me. I'm insulted.

Kelly B - Seems really nice! I enjoyed talking to her, and I think she and I could go far together. Of course, she's got the one-legged sympathy thing going for her, which is totally unfair.

Kelly S - Seemed awesome. I could definitely see myself hooking up with her. Of course, I could be walking into a Kelly-filled trap, and handing them the keys to our tribe, but, oh well. My hope is that if the Kellys are all together, that I can somehow climb aboard as Kelly 5, and secretly destroy their alliance from the inside.


...And, that's all I have to say for right now.

PS - You totally misspelled my last name in the confessional board title. It's "Wiglesworth," not "Wigelsworth."

[Host Sarah]

lmao Thanks for the heads up! And love the analysis of your tribe. Keep up the Confessionals, I already enjoy reading from you

[Kelly Wiglesworth]

Whatever, SarahTara! Don't think I haven't forgotten your meanness in that BB mini. For shame! (And, actually, I had to leave. How'd you do in that?)

So, confessional for round two.

Sadly, I haven't really bonded with my tribe much. I don't know if that's because they aren't online much, or I'm not online as much, or what the dealio is. But it bothers me. I prefer to be one of the movers and shakers, and I'm really feeling rather powerless at this point.

The only thing I have going is a tentative deal with Kelly S to protect each other, but everybody knows that those kinds of alliances are nebulous at best. Hopefully it'll blossom into something more useful.

As a backup plan, I'm spreading a bit of paranoia about the possibility of an all-Kelly alliance. I'm doing this via a process I call the Alliance By Proxy phenomenon. The ABP is a system I devised a couple years back. It's a fantastic little thing, because instead of making an alliance between you and another person, it actually enables you, through some exceedingly good social skills, to create an alliance between other people, up to and including total strangers. The way the ABP works, is you simply mention to a lot of people that you're concerned about the possibility of an alliance between Player X and Player Y. The more people you mention it to, the greater the odds that someone will mention this suspicion to Player X or Player Y. The alliance is denied, but the suspicion continues to linger in the minds of all, and the mere fact that they are mutually suspected of alliancing draws Player X and Player Y together. Since they both feel targetted, they agree to help each other out, even if it's just to clear their names. And, viola. An alliance is born, just because I made everybody believe it existed.

It sounds crazy, I know. But it absolutely works, and I've used that exact plot more times than I can count, usually with the result that Players X and Y get kicked off, never suspecting that I had anything to do with it.

That being said, I'm not actually pulling this exact scheme. I haven't been able to talk to enough people to do it. But, I'm trying something very similar. It's reasonably obvious to me that there's something going on with the other four Kellys. It can't be a coincidence that they all pre-requested a Kelly. It just can't be. I'm feeding them a lot of concern that people might come after us Kellys, just because they think we're together. I'm also feeding the rest of the tribe a lot of concern that the other four Kellys are together. The end result of this is that either the other Kellys will go home, or they'll include me in their plans. Theoretically. Either way, I come out ahead.

Or, I would, if the tribe would ever be on their freakin' AIM accounts.

[Host Sarah]

and who might you be? What aim would I know you from in that mini?

[Host Sarah]

Oh wait, nvm I just read who you were lmao, I'M NOT MEAN <3

[Kelly Wiglesworth]

Oh, you're mean.

Alright, round three.

Still not making much headway on the alliance situation, but I had to lawl a bit at the "Sabateur", who obviously isn't smart enough to know that it's spelt "Saboteur," taking on all of the Kellys except me. I don't know what's up with that, but, hey. I think being the last Kelly standing would be pretty hawt.

Still not making much headway on alliances, but Kelly S told me that she and Crystal want Peih-Gee out of here, which suits me pretty fine. Peih-Gee is pretty useless, and booting her would give me a chance to sink my teeth in elsewhere.

Incidentally, Kelly S is kind of bothering me. I love the girl to death, but I think that it was kind of witchy to just take the Luv Shack for herself, when the challenge was obviously a team effort. I know that I personally contributed a lot of ideas to the group, and whether or not that's what won us the challenge, I definitely played a big role in the win. So, I'd have liked at least some consideration, y'know?

And that's the end of that.

[Kelly Wiglesworth]

*grumble grumble*

Stupid board ate my previous confessional and now I have to start all over.

Okay, so. First taste of tribal council. It was a bitch. Why? Because our two most useless members got Immunity, and that meant that we had to vote off one of our actual valuable contributing people.

Let me just say... SCREW YOU, Mister or Missus Saboteur! I'm pretty certain that Peih-Gee's Immunity win was at least partially influenced by our spelling-challenged friend, since it stands to reason that someone who tries to sit out of every single challenge is probably not someone you'd expect would be able to sit at a computer posting perfectly for five hours straight.

Also... how drunk are Qeqqata, that they thought Ozzy was our strongest member? Seriously.

It's like I somehow wandered into Survivor: Special Needs or something.

Where things got really fun was when Boo got it into his head that he needed to take a stand and purge the land of the Evil Kelly Alliance, which was a little Don Quixote-esque in that the EKA never actually existed. Sure, the Kellys voted together, but you know why that was? Because we're the most active people in the damn tribe. If other people actually showed up on AIM from time to time, maybe we'd talk to them, too! As it was, I talked to like six people about the vote, and only went with majority consensus. Kellying had nothing to do with it.

But, of course, Ozzy weenied out and changed his vote to axe Kelly B, and now I'm running around trying frantically do some damage control before the Kelly genocide claims another victim.

Mad props to my fellow Kellys on their subtlety, btw. Seriously. When I was trying to explain myself to Boo last night, I almost found myself wanting to take his side. Like... frick. First Kelly S pulls the idiotic stunt with the Luv Shack and doesn't bloody well tell anybody that she's not allowed to vote!!! For crap's sake, Shinn! Then they vote Kelly G as the strongest on the other tribe, then they try to use Frank as a pawn when he's not around, then they arbitrarily target Crystal... eugh. It's all one massive gongshow, and I wouldn't even care except that I was momentarily seized by an insane desire to see what kind of madness would ensure if there were five Kellys in one game. Well, now we know, and it ain't gonna happen again. (Unless we all get together and be the Johns next round.)

So, damage control. I worked Frank and Crystal a little. (Yay for my own amazingness. It takes mad skill to be able to form a friendship with somebody you just voted against. Twice.) I also worked Ozzy, and played up Boo's paranoia that OMG one of the non-Kellys didn't help him vote off Kelly B! Whatever shall he do?

Well, he'll tell me like fifty times about how worried he is about getting voted off. Now, I know Boo's eventually going to read this confessional someday, so let me say right now, Boo, I like you. But when you vote off someone I liked for no legitimate reason and then get everybody caught up in a wave of anti-Kelly fervor, complaining to me about how you feel at risk is pretty much like having Donald Trump go up to a hobo and complain about how much it costs to fill up his helicopter with gas.

I did eventually convince him to form an alliance with me, and that's pretty good. I know he's an honest dude, and that's why I don't put much stock in that alliance. All he said was that he wasn't going after me next, and that he wants to work with me. He didn't say for how long, and he didn't say what happens after next TC. Now, folks, I've been around a while. I was playing Survivor games back in 2003, before All-Stars even came out. I'm one of the most senior players ever, and believe me when I say that honest guys are just as untrustworthy as dishonest guys, because honest guys have to be far more artful when it comes to making moves. I believe that Boo will genuinely try to keep me around, but I also believe that he's got other connections that he values more.

We'll see what happens. Probably Kelly S is slated to be destroyed next, so my plan is to continue targetting Peih-Gee, until they listen and vote her off. That should hopefully guarantee me a spot in the top six of the tribe, at which point I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I'm in good with Frank and Ozzy, and if I can keep Kelly C around, I can use her vote, too. I'd have to do a significant amount of outright lying (and that's something I generally avoid, because it's bad strategy and also kind of distasteful) to flip things up at that point, but, hey. They attacked me first.

Everything's fair game in retaliation, baby.

[Host Sarah]

Yahuh, if a merge were to happen anytime soon Would you ever consider uniting the four remaining Kelly's?

[Kelly Wiglesworth]

Well, I'm guessing by your "Yahuh" comment that one or more of the other Kellys probably talked about having the All-Kelly alliance. Be that as it may, I personally never received an offer to join. I was offered the chance to vote with the Kellys this round, but was never actually offered any concrete plan going forward. Ergo, the alliance did not actually exist, or if it did, it didn't contain me.

And, no. I wouldn't align with the other Kellys, simply because that would be strategic suicide. Now, had Kelly B survived, and if 5 of the 10 Survivors in the merge were named Kelly, that would be a horse of an entirely different color. It would make a hell of a lot more sense to try and pull something. Whereas attempting do an obvious 4 out of 10 is just stupid. I don't even know Kelly G anyway.

[Kelly Wiglesworth]

Wow, but KelG is clever. Props to her on figuring out the black thing. Let's see how many times I can use the smilie thing on her.

8 points thus far, and we're drawing a truce for the night. I'll be back in an hour just in case she doesn't hold up her end of the bargain.

[Kelly Wiglesworth]

Assuming KelG doesn't block any of the ones I just threw, my hit total is up to 17, and I have 30 snowballs remaining. (8 hits and 1 highly-disputed miss yesterday, and 9 hits just now.)

[Kelly Wiglesworth]

Alright. Of my 48 snowballs, she blocked... one. So, I've got 47 hits, and I don't think I'll do any more, because if this challenge hasn't already exposed me as an uber-threat, nothing will.

[Kelly Wiglesworth]

Wiggles' Wicked and Wild Confessional, Round Six.

Alright, so, I'm a bit annoyed at Qeqqata for voting Brendan off. That dude was a friend of mine, and I totally had this whole intertribal alliance planned out in my head. Now I'm gonna have to pull it off with Aaron and Erik. And maybe Kelly. I dunno. That girl's a threat.

But, we'll see. I'm probably a threat now, for having buried Goldsmith underneat Mt. Wiglesworth in that last challenge. Good. That'll teach the Kujalleq fool brigade that I deserve to be here.

Incidentally, notice how Peih-Gee didn't do CRAP in that challenge? Like she hasn't done crap all game? I find that interesting. Mainly because I had like a two hour argument with Boo where I tried to convince him that Peih-Gee was worthless, and he wouldn't listen to me. Well, hopefully now he knows. Still love ya, Boo, but you gotta admit I was right on this one...

[Host Damien]

Buried Goldsmith underneath Mt. Wiglesworth HAHAHAHAHAHA

[Kelly Wiglesworth]

Alright, so, my computer definitely just ate my confessional. I'm pissed.

Bascially, I'm aghast at the widespread apathy that seems to have infected my fellow cast members. Do they know that they're even playing? Seriously. It's pretty piss pathetic that hardly any of them have bothered to try in the first Immunity challenge, especially from the Qeqqata tribe! Seriously! If you're down 4 members to 8, you'd think you'd... y'know... try to save yourself.

At least I'll feel no guilt when it comes time to streamroll all of the inactives on my way to the finals. I made an alliance with Crystal right away, hopefully she and I can ride it out to the end. But if all comes to naught, I've still got Aaron and Erik on the backburners, and they both seem like pretty loyal dudes. Of course, either of them would slaughter me against a jury just for being the only redeemable player on their tribe, which sadly means I probably won't be able to take them to the finals. I'd like to win, thanks.

I'm actually proud of myself. I'm the sole reason Alina's going to go this round, and once I get Boo to ditch all of the inactive dumbasses on Kujalleq, I'll be sitting in like the final five, with a solid alliance with Crystal, and it shouldn't be much of an issue to ditch the rest. As arrogant as this sounds, I honestly can't really see me going before the final three.

Learn to love me, hosties. I'ma be around for a while.